The Vintage Bazaar...Pass or fail?!! ;-)

It all started at 9 a.m. yesterday morning,

when the doorbell rang!

Rushing to answer it, who should I find standing there

but two gentlemen...and very smart they were too

in their bright blue ties!

Before I could even speak, one of the aforementioned,

(who looked like he might be the other's sidekick), uttered:

'Mrs Sally Hall, may I introduce to you,

Michael Gove, Minister for Education.'

I looked the right honourable gentleman, up and down.

'Am I bovvered?!' I replied.

'You ought to be,' replied the 'main man' and he went

on to explain that a new law had been rushed through

Parliament the previous evening.

'All English teachers have to take a GCSE paper,' he spoke firmly.

'Take it where?' I asked ;-)

'Okay clever clogs...I mean sit it... just as your pupils will be doing.'

Checking my calendar, I noted the date as being April 20th.

and so this was no April Fool.

'And it has to be tomorrow', he continued .

'But...but...but... !'

'Sorry, but that's the new law and YOU have been chosen,

along with a number of other teachers throughout the country.

Tomorrow morning, at 5 a.m. you will open this envelope

which contains the exam paper.

You must NOT open it early, otherwise you WILL be

classed as a cheat and never be allowed to teach again!

On opening it, you will read the question carefully.

There is NO choice ... just the one question.

You must email me your completed exam paper by midnight

on Saturday, April 21st.'

' YOU HAVE TO BE FLAMIN' JOKING!' I replied.

He handed me an envelope and wished me good luck.

With that, they both declined my offer of a cup of tea

(and a natter about how to really put the country right)....

and they made a rapid getaway!

'Dammit, Dammit and Triple Dammit!' I thought!

I tossed and turned ALL night.

******

The morning came soon enough and at 5 a.m. on the dot,

I ripped open the envelope.

************

ENGLISH GCSE EXTRA HIGHER PAPER

Question:

You are taking part in a top notch, Vintage Fair.

Write an account of your day and in doing so, persuade

people who are not yet into vintage, that they ought to adopt

such an interest. Use a range of language features

of persuasive writing and don't forget that

Mr Gove is very hot...

on punctuation.

(Thank heavens they included those last two words,' thought I!!! LOL)

********************

A-MA-ZING!

I checked the question again.

This must be my lucky day!

It made no mention of photographs and so why not

include a few of those too, I thought.

I'd certainly show that Gove fellow a thing or two!

And thus, I beavered away.

************

The Vintage Bazaar

by Sal Hall

You too can love vintage!

Just open your mind, open your eyes...

and be prepared to open your purse!

Come along with me to one of the best ever vintage events

in the South West!

I will give you some truly memorable, mind blowing

and magical moments.

Come on!! Hurry now!

First up...

FABRICS!

Cool beans...just look at this divine selection!

And do I mean divine?

Well, what can I say about vintage fabrics?

I'm telling you now that you should take fabrics in

three easy moves...

First you gaze, then you stroke, then you buy!

Simples, eh?

You do it!

If fabrics be the food of love, play on...man!! ;-)

And now for something completely different! ;-)

Vintage in the garden!

Did you know that a recent survey about

people's gardening habits, discovered that people who

adopt vintage ideas in their garden are more likely to live ten years

longer than those who don't?

I wonder why?!

And did you know that old tools are the best tools?

So, I've been told by old Snippets...

( as he struggles along with that old Qualcast push along,

the sweat pouring off his tired brow!!)

(Please feel free to picture that image!!)

Furthermore, did you know that at the Vintage Bazaar, today,

there was the BEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL

DISPLAY!

A real labour of love!

Stunningly beautiful; there are no words to describe it!

('Ah but you just did,' I hear you cry!!)

I could've taken a seat in this little world

and stayed there forever!

(But of course, I have an assignment to complete, don't I?!

And whose dumb idea was that? ;-)

Do you know

that there were old trugs, crates and garden tools?

Ephemera for garden ponds and pools,

A scarlet red Geranium,

To excite your brain.... inside your cranium!! LOL!

Do you know

that every aisle made me smile,

as I stopped to browse awhile?

Do you know that every table was laid with a feast?

A visual delight , to say the least!

And then there were hats...hats and more hats!

Which got me thinking...

At the Cheese and Grain, if you have some bread

Buy a hat, to don your head!

AND HERE'S A SNIPPET OF SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING!

At a recent conference of extremely eminent psychologists,

a statement was made by top psychologist,

Dr Shabb Y. C. Hic

(Tee hee...a woman...not A man (da!!)

'New research has shown that people who love to

collect things from the past and use them to adorn

their homes and gardens,

are the jolliest people in the world.'

So there you have it!!

We have one such person here

but she was hiding behind her stall this week!

And is it hardly any wonder why jollity

permeates this vibrant event?

And finally, my stall was right opposite this fantastic collection

of ceramics!

Which would you choose?

And so there I was...

sweating like a pig, all day, knowing that my

deadline was getting closer and closer and closer!

Would I beat the deadline?

Would I pass or would I fail?

?