Saturday, 1 October 2011


At 10am, on the dot, the referee blew her whistle .


And the doors opened to the Vintage and Handmade Textile Fair.

The line, outside in the street, moved steadily towards the doors.

Try as you might, you couldn’t push in.

There was a Flood of customers!

Sellers had brought many props with them,

in order to to enhance their displays.

There was a bit of a scrum at one point when various bargains

were spotted on the flanks and one customer began to

maul another, in an attempt to be the first to get to there.

‘’Pack it in’’, shouted Jayne…

and the town hall manager immediately grabbed

the offending customer and sent her to the sin bin.

Great bit of teamwork!

The commotion continued when a Chinese lady

was overcome with emotion,

through finding a piece of vintage Ming silk :

’’Worra piece of ruck!!’’ she yelled! (LOL;-)

Sal, who was trying to look up the $ to £ conversion

(or was it Yen? ) on her iPhone, could hardly contain herself!

(Just as she can hardly contain herself writing this!)

At this point a rather elegant gent was seen

taking a vintage negligee from a tailor’s dummy,

to the changing room... and everyone was left wondering

whether he was a bit of a (S)winger!

( a bit of poetic licence here!)

Mr Snippets came back from the pub to tell everyone

the rugby score... and how he had very much enjoyed

watching the hooker, with Mr Cottage! ;-)

‘’Get in that sin bin, '' Jayne and Sal screeched, together…

’’Otherwise you’ll be kicked into touch!

(That’s the penalty you pay for misbehaviour!)

All stallholders made a good turnover!

The knock on effect of all this is that

there will be another of these gatherings

on Dec 1st

We look forward to coming back to Chipping Sodbury

(not to be confused with Rugby)

Finally, Mr Snippets, now let out of the sin bin,

had encountered that (s)winger and had seen him strip.

So he said, ‘ Forgive me for being forward but are you decent ?’

To which the (s) winger replied (in an Eddie Waring accent):

‘Yes, I think everything is up and under unless you can see my

tackle.... and my Tualagi!

And you can keep your hand off that!''

So... (if you have not had a breakdown reading this!)

now that you have seen what a wonderful day we all had…

(and, as you can see, we didn’t miss the rugby one bit!!)….

Are you coming to Chipping Sodbury in December?

I‘m sure your answer is:

Wilko !


Naturally, any saucy, rugby related replies

will be gratefully received!